Potty Humor

Is it ok to laugh at your children's potty humor?

My almost two year old (next week! waaah!) came up with this knock knock joke all on his own.

Knock! knock!

Who's there?

POO! HA! HA! HA! (The HA's are him laughing at himself.)

Poor, Crazy Britney

I thought this was funny.... in a sad-funny kind of way.

I Confess #3

The


backside


of


my


Christmas


Tree


is


NAKED!

I Confess #2

I


stayed


up


until


1:30


in


the


morning


yesterday


to


watch


Britney Spears: For the Record.


Then I walked around my house all day today doing my best Britney Spears strut. I still think I look pretty hot when I do the strut. I still got it. Alright... just hit me... baby... one more time.

Any other closet Britney Spears fans out there? Are you a fan of something embarrassing that you don't share with your Relief Society?

The Car Breakdown

My chillin's and I were leaving my brother's house late, after celebrating my nephew's 2nd birthday. Both of my extremely tired boys were sent home with a balloon. (These balloons were just ordinary CO2 balloons not like Nienie's marvelous helium balloons.) (I just love Nienie if you haven't noticed.) Well this really surprising thing happened.



My



two



year



old's



balloon



POPPED! (I bet you saw that coming, didn't cha?)


He is just bawling uncontrollably, and other son is just hysterical. "Mom! His balloon popped! His balloon popped!" he is screaming four octaves higher than usual. So I say, "I'm so sorry honey," to the two year old and "Shhhh, calm down so he won't get more upset!" to the four year old. These two messages were repeated an innumerable amount of times while I am trying to find a place to pull over. I finally find a place that I probably won't get mugged in, then I get out to console and check if there are any balloon pieces stuck in my baby's face. (There weren't any... don't panic!) After about two minutes, I give up on trying to calm the two year old and I climb back in. "I know! Do you boys want to listen to your favorite CD?" I say and put it on. Miraculously, my two year old stops crying. I give myself a mental pat on the back. Yes!!! I did it!!! After two bars of The Popcorn Song, my two year old starts wailing again. I sigh in frustration and say, "Why are you crying again, sweetheart?" Immediately, in a voice five octaves higher than normal,


my


four


year


old


shrieks,


"BECAAAAAUSE HIIIIS BALLOOOOOOOON POPPED!"

It is possible to laugh and cry at the same time.

Fighting for the Christmas Spirit

Every year on December 1st, I get all these ideas and dreams in my head about the wonderful things I am going to do each day with my family to create memories and have the Christmas Spirit. (Yes I capitalized it because it is very important to me and deserves that big letter.) I come up with this great idea to have a kids Christmas decorating party. I invited my SIL and her two kids to join my little crew. We went to Michael's and got some little crafts to do with the kids. I had visions in my head of these little cheap crafts turning out like all of Nienie's crafts with her kids. These are the highlights of how it really went down.

*Started with the four kids sitting at the table. 2 two year olds and 2 four year olds. My poor baby was abandoned to do endless amounts of tummy time on the carpet because I forgot to bring a baby apparatus with me to my SIL's house. (Ok CPS! Not really abandoned... )
*Put the sugar cookie dough in front of the children with 40 cookie cutters to choose from.
*Two year olds ate the cookie dough and cookie cutters.
*Four year olds are whining and crying because the two year olds were eating all their dough.
*The cookies end up looking like roadkill.
*I look over and my two year old has one of his cookie cutouts stuck to the metal spatula and was sucking it off. His nose was runny and there was some mixing of certain bodily fluids with the dough. I nearly retched.
*On to the coloring. Santa masks. One Santa looks like Pretty Pretty Princess with a cotton ball beard, the other looks like Multicultural Santa or a bomb scene at the crayola factory.
*Unwashable markers... all over.
*Now comes swirling drops of glitter paint in the clear glass bulb ornaments. You all seem pretty intelligent... just guess what happened.... yep... you're right. Glass shards stuck in paint, stuck in the grout of my SIL's kitchen.
*Me saying, "I give up! Last one in the car is a moco-encrusted cookie."
*We are scheduled to return tomorrow to frost and decorate the roadkill cookies. *biting nails*

I sure am good at creating memories. =)

FYI... moco is booger in Spanish.

Anyone interested in pictures?

I Confess

Tonight we held a Family Home Evening Group at our house for all of my husband's extended family. I'm talking his brothers, sisters, future fiance', cousins and even his mother's first cousin and husband. So the fun is happening, the songs have been sung, the lesson is over, treats are served, and eight o'clock rolls around.

Eight o'clock in my house is that sacred time of night when no children are allowed to be conscious or out of their little soft rectangles. This rule is hardly ever broken. Tonight was not going to be an exception. My 5 month old went down without a fuss... like always. I just love her! *sigh* I bargain with my four year old that he can play noggin.com on the computer if he gets all ready by himself. The barely-talking-almost-two-year-old is telling me, "No nigh-nigh! Yuck!" Well the group was hollering at me that it was my turn and they were all waiting. I just had to do it! So I confess... after changing his diaper, I put my two year old to bed


while


he


was



STILL WEARING HIS PLAY CLOTHES!!!! AAAAAAAA!!!!

And then my four year old fell asleep underneath the computer desk a little bit later. *snicker*

He's at least in pajamas.

I'm a horrible parent! Call Britney Spears and tell her she's lost the title!

What did you do today that you don't want anyone else to know? Your secret is safe with me... (unless I will be held legally accountable or something.)